“I destroyed everything around me”

It takes a lot of courage and strength to recognize a problem and to allow yourself to step into an addiction clinic. The hero from this week’s experience story has done this, and from there writes about his journey to come closer to himself. Please enjoy these beautiful words during a beautifully strong step in his life:


What do you do in everyday life?
At the moment I am in an addiction clinic, but in daily life I work as an all-round employee at a courier company. I am 36 years old and father of a son who is now 12.

What did you mainly drink and how much/often?
I only drank beer. On nights when I was home alone (which was usually two or three nights a week), I drank 12 pints a night.

How long have you stopped drinking alcohol?
I haven’t drunk for 62 days now.

Was this your first attempt?
No, I’ve made several attempts to quit, but this is my first serious attempt to quit. I destroyed everything around me, hence my choice to spend 12 weeks in an addiction clinic.

What stopped you from giving up alcohol sooner?
I couldn’t get to my emotions and feelings, because I didn’t feel them or because I didn’t want to get to them. I used to like feeling things on those evenings when I was alone and to discuss this with my ‘green friends’ (read: the cans of Heineken).

What made you eventually flip the switch by stopping anyway?
The alcohol destroyed more than I would have liked. Moreover, the contact with my son also became less and less, even to the point that I now have to fight for my parenthood.

What have you experienced as the greatest benefits so far?
Because of the therapies I have here, I manage to come to my feelings more and to make them negotiable. Not only the negative feelings, but also the feeling of longing towards alcohol may be discussed.

And what do you miss most?
Certainly the conversations with my green friend, in which I could express my feelings towards the alcohol while I should express them to my girlfriend and family.

So: what do you miss least about alcohol?
The hiding of the empty cans, every time I drank I had to make the evidence disappear. I usually did that by secretly putting it in a plastic bag and then throwing it in the container, but then the bin was soon full. That’s why I often did it in the underground container. Always putting alcohol in first place is what I miss the least. It’s terrible to manipulate and lie to your loved ones.

What do you do when you have a hard time and still want to drink again?
I want to express my feelings to my loved ones and open up when I am having a hard time.

What do you drink as an alternative if you no longer drink alcohol?
I mainly drink ice tea.

How do you plan to deal with alcohol in the future?
I don’t want it in my house anymore, not even two cans. For me, two cans become four, eight, sixteen…

Do you have any tips or advice for people who also quit alcohol?
Don’t be ashamed of your longing to alcohol. Don’t dwell on it and make it clear to the people around you.

Finally: what do you want to say to anyone who is still in doubt whether they should stop drinking or not?
Don’t destroy the things you hold dear by using alcohol. You think you will be fine with your use, but eventually all the misery will come out again. Pick up the beautiful life and make it addiction-free.


And I wholeheartedly wish that to everyone, and especially to you! I think it’s really great of you that you are taking this step, and (this is not in this story but in the email you sent with it) your intention to help others from your experience. This shows that you really have the intention to make the world around you a better place. Your son can be proud of you!

Thank you so much for your story and this nice contribution to the ever-growing collection of experience stories for AlcoholFreedom! If, after reading this story, someone else would like to share his or her experiences about quitting alcohol: please let me know! Just leave your e-mail on this page and I’ll contact you as soon as possible

Have a nice weekend everyone!

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