Today I am sharing a story that I’ve had on the shelf for far too long, but that will undoubtedly look familiar to many people who read it. On the one hand, you have a very well-groomed life, nothing to worry about… but at the same time there is a darker side, an alcoholic life that has gone too far with no end in sight. Those lives can coexist for a while, but sooner or later they will start to overlap. And then it takes a lot of courage to turn the tides. Fortunately, the author of this story realized this in time and intervened. Please take a moment for this inspiring story about her journey towards alcoholfreedom:
In daily life I work as a nurse. I drank an average of twice a week, and only on my days off. I always had the presence of mind not to consume alcohol before or after my work. In other words, I took and take the work very seriously. But when I was free, or on vacations…
The brakes were released and I counted down the hours to be able to drink again. It alienated me. I like sports, healthy food, art, culture and nature. But booze was just part of it. I watched Jamie and Anthony cooking shows. They enjoyed a glass of wine or beer. So why not me?
Only when I started drinking on my days off, still under the influence of the night before, I woke up at night gagging, got holes in my memory and ended up in a police cell after a party (with 1 shoe, without the rest of the partygoers) … well, then I got remorseful. Anxious, but also terribly saddened by my actions. How can someone who is SO incredibly responsible, meticulous in everything, caring for others, still go overboard so terribly?
After my boyfriend had told me that he would like to propose to me, but didn’t dare this because of alcohol, I started to think. Why do I drink a bottle of whiskey if I can’t find any more wine? Why am I embarrassing myself when I’m under the influence? There were many whys.
I woke up in the middle of the night, sick from the drink. I looked at my pretty white dress, puked under in my drunkenness. I got scared.
Afraid of going to hell, while I’m already in it.
Afraid of ending on a bench.
Afraid of losing my working license, if I ever end up on that bench.
You lose everything, your dignity, your knowledge, your trust, really everything.
I didn’t want to go to AA, but now what? I didn’t need a clinic, nor did I have the time for one. I didn’t want people to know about the pretty tough lady.
Long story short, I chose to read books. Reading is my hobby and this hobby has been my salvation and healing. All the books you recommend in your app: been there, done that. They were eye openers. Especially Clare Pooley, with whom I also had personal contact.
At the moment I don’t drink alcohol anymore. It’s not all the relief as I’ve heard a lot of people say, but the hangovers are gone. I certainly don’t miss my disgusting behavior under influence, but I do miss the carefree feeling of when everything is more or less under control. I am in the process of getting my driver’s license. I never dared this. I do a lot of sports and enjoy my family and partner.
God bless you!
And lots of love to you from everyone who reads this! I love how you are turning the tide. I sincerely hope that you manage to regain control and, above all, keep it back. My experience is that in that case it might be easier to say goodbye to that alcohol life completely. Then at least you don’t have to combine it anymore.
Good luck, and thanks again for sharing! And if someone else, after reading this story, would like to write down his or her experiences: please let me know! If you fill in your e-mail on this page, I will contact you as soon as possible.
Have a nice day everyone!